Imagine Soccer - Blog RSS (Humour) http://www.imaginesoccer.com/ An RSS feed of blogs from Imagine Soccer. en-gb info@imaginesportsclub.com info@imaginesportsclub.com <![CDATA['He Said What?!']]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/lip-service/he-said-what-2504.htm Soccer is a serious game: anyone who’s woken bug eyed with exhaustion just to catch that league two play off repeat at three in the morning knows this.

But what of the stupid side of the game? We take a look at some of the more ridiculous statements to have ever slipped from the mouths of those glorious men who love the beautiful game as much as we do. Just don’t trust them to make sense, that’s all…

"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new...

By Lip Service

]]> Fri, 17 Feb 2012 16:07:35 +0000 <![CDATA[Manager Madness Part 2]]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/lip-service/manager-madness-part-2-2500.htm  

Well, it’s Friday again (woooo!) and we here at Imagine truly do have that Friday feeling. So much so that we’re going to conclude our countdown of the maddest managers in the world, and share with all of our lovely readers some of their greatest quotes. So, our final two brings us to two absolute legends of the game: Sir Bobby Robson and Ian Holloway (who should become a ...

By Lip Service

]]> Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:13:43 +0000 <![CDATA[Manager Madness]]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/lip-service/manager-madness-2485.htm 5. Kevin Keegan. Whilst notorious for his ‘LOVE IT if we beat them’ speech, Geordie hero Kev also brought his fair share of insanity to the footballing world…

‘The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23.’ – Mr Keegan managing in backwards land.

‘He’ll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he’ll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field....

By Lip Service

]]> Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:01:20 +0000 <![CDATA[Chants Would Be A Fine Thing]]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/weird-world-/chants-would-be-a-fine-thing-2473.htm A few of you may recall a while back that we here at Imagine celebrated the masterful invention of the UKs football fans by sharing with you some of our favourite hilarious (and often offensive) football chants from the terraces. Well, people loved them so much that we’ve put together a load more.


‘Feeeed the scooousers, Let them know it’s Christmas time!’ – A belter from Newcastle v Everton, sung during the yuletide period.

‘Van-Per-Sie, When a girl says no, Mo-lest her.’ ...

By Weird World...

]]> Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:21:15 +0000 <![CDATA[Commentary Craziness]]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/lip-service/commentary-craziness-1141.htm John Motson was such a laugh, we’ve delved further into the world of commentary mental-ness ...

By Lip Service

]]> Fri, 11 Feb 2011 15:22:06 +0000 <![CDATA[Sheepskin Shambles]]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/weird-world-/sheepskin-shambles-1093.htm Everyone knows that here at Imagine, we really can’t get enough of sporting stupidity.  Whether it’s a ludicrous innuendo or metaphor that defies common sense, the stupid caption remains our best friend.  In the world of football, John Motson is undoubtedly the king.  Read away, and let the legend that is Motty light up your week…

 

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip" – Because why not help out those at a disadvantage? ...

By Weird World...

]]> Tue, 01 Feb 2011 17:13:45 +0000 <![CDATA[Chants Would Be A Fine Thing]]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/lip-service/chants-would-be-a-fine-thing-544.htm There’s nothing that can really take away the pain of watch your beloved team getting hammered 4-0 on a rainy day in Stoke, but if there’s one thing that alleviates the suffering slightly, it’s a chant going round the ground that has you spitting out your Bovril and laughing until you can’t see anymore.  So, because we love sharing the humour, here are some of the funniest, weirdest and downright offensive chants we’ve heard from all four corners of the football league…
 
"Park, Par...

By Lip Service

]]> Wed, 22 Sep 2010 22:49:44 +0100 <![CDATA[Ian Holloway: Someone Knight This Man]]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/lip-service/ian-holloway-someone-knight-this-man-439.htm Anyone familiar with my writing will know just how much I love Ian Holloway.  It’s an absolute delight to have a side managed by him back in the top division, and ever night I say a little prayer that Blackpool will stay up.  The reason?  Holloway’s amazing ability to release moments of absolute genius into the quote world.  Here are some of the best...

‘I’ve got to knock that horrible smell out of my boys, because they smell of complacency’

‘We need a big, ugly defender. If we...

By Lip Service

]]> Wed, 01 Sep 2010 16:58:04 +0100 <![CDATA[Footballers Behaving Badly]]> http://www.imaginesoccer.com/blog/weird-world-/footballers-behaving-badly-406.htm 1.  Alan Shearer.  OK, some of these stories aren’t what you’d call ‘funny’ – this one sure as hell is, though.  On a Dublin piss-up with the rest of his Newcastle team-mates in 1997, the normally sensible Shearer proceeded to take team-mate Keith Gillespie outside and knock him spark out.  The reason?  Gillespie wouldn’t stop flicking bottle tops at the England captain. 
Thoughts: I will give everything I own for Mark Lawrenson to repeat the bottle flicking on Match of the Day. By Weird World...

]]> Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:03:34 +0100