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Footballers Behaving Badly
Some Of The More Hilarious 'Misjudgements' By Our Favourite Players
Posted Mar 02, 2012 by Lip Service
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1. Alan Shearer. OK, some of these stories aren’t what you’d call ‘funny’ – this one sure as hell is, though. On a Dublin piss-up with the rest of his Newcastle team-mates in 1997, the normally sensible Shearer proceeded to take team-mate Keith Gillespie outside and knock him spark out. The reason? Gillespie wouldn’t stop flicking bottle tops at the England captain.
Thoughts: I will give everything I own for Mark Lawrenson to repeat the bottle flicking on Match of the Day.
2. Ashley Cole. Having married a woman so beautiful that it’s actually a bit offensive, you’d think Mr Cole would be pretty content. Apparently, though, it’s not enough: having been forgiven for one elopement, Cole then proceeded to send some photographs of himself in shapeless underwear, and proceeded to lose said offensively beautiful woman. What a wally.
Thoughts: To be honest, national treasure or not, if it takes you four years to work out that Ashley Cole is a monumental s**t-bin, then you deserve everything that’s coming to you.
3. Don Hutchinson. On holiday in Ayia Napa, the Liverpool man exposed himself to some female students who were attempting to video some of the local scenery. Bad enough, you might think – a slap on the wrist and a fine. However, Hutchinson wasn’t done: on the same holiday, he once again drunkenly exposed the one eyed monster, though to his credit he at least tried to hide it behind a Budweiser bottle.
Thoughts: The best bit of this story is Liverpool boss Roy Evan’s reaction to the second exposure: ‘If Hutchinson is flashing his d**k again, that’s not on.’ Understatement of the year, Roy.
4. Dwight Yorke and Mark Bosnich. Champion’s league winner and unfortunate enough to have fathered a child with Jordan, it’s a little wonder that Mr Yorke has done some weird things. King of weirdness was filming himself and his current goalkeeping team-mate Mark Bosnich wearing lady’s clothes and indulging in a sex romp with four girls at his home. Go ahead, just imagine having to explain that to Alex Ferguson.
Thoughts: It puts the dress in the drawer and it does as it’s told.
5. Frank Worthington. This is possibly the best story I’ve ever heard. Worthington had failed the medical for a move to Liverpool due to high blood pressure, which was consequently explained by excessive sexual activity. The best bit? Having been told to go away on holiday to relax and retake the medical two weeks later, Worthington failed again.
Thoughts: A lesson to all that if you’re going to do something, then you can darn well do it properly, and to hell with the consequences.