Imagine Soccer Blogs

Commentary Craziness

Some Of Our Favourite Football Gaffes

Posted Feb 11, 2011 by Lip Service

Andy Gray is no genius

With it being the end of the week, it’s time for us at Imagine to doff the stupid caps and delve into our favourite sports to come up with some of the daftest stories, gaffes and quotes that we can.  After all, there’s nothing like being sent off to their weekend in a delightfully silly mood.  Because our column last Friday on John Motson was such a laugh, we’ve delved further into the world of commentary mental-ness to come up with these magnificently silly statements from the football world.  Enjoy (and probably sympathise).

‘Well, Clive, it’s about the two M’s – movement and positioning.’ – Big Ron Atkinson probably didn’t end up as an English tutor.

Julian Dicks is everywhere.  It’s like there’s eleven Dicks on the field.’  A Metro Radio commentator being less than flattering about West Ham’s former captain..

‘The beauty about cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath.’  Terry Butcher getting his parables rather mixed up.

‘When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1’ Former Southampton boss Lawrie McMenemy.  You’re not wrong there, Loz.

‘I don’t like to see players tossed off needlessly.’ Neither do we, Andy Gray, neither do we.

‘Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win.’  Vinnie Jones and his flawless priorities.

‘The Italians are hoping for an Italian victory.’  You just can’t argue with David Coleman here.

‘An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal.’  Dave Bassett – once again, you can’t argue with the logic.

‘If England are going to win this match, they’re going to have to score a goal.’  Someone remind me why Jimmy Hill didn’t go into management again?

‘The ref was vertically 15 yards away.’  Kevin Keegan, PhD in physics.

‘And farmer has now score 19 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season.’ Multiplication is an issue for Aussie commentator Gary Lyon.

‘And for those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are playing in yellow.’  Like we wouldn’t include a mad moment from good old Motty in here!

‘Welcome to Bologna on Capital Gold for England versus San Marino with Tennent's Pilsner, brewed with Czechoslovakian yeast for that extra Pilsner taste, and England are one down.’  Jonathan Pearce not really having time to pause following San Marino’s early goal.

Graham Taylor was the man who straightened out Elton John.’ – Chris Kamara presumably not quite getting the innuendo.

‘Wigan are depending for scores on their Columbian front man.’ – Jimmy Magee and his somewhat wild accusations at the DW stadium.

‘People call it Armageddon but I think it’s worse than that.’ – Terry Butcher gets a second place in the list for what some might say was an over-reaction to the news of a potential 10 team SPL.

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