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Chants Would Be A Fine Thing

The Greatest Football Chants

Posted Sep 22, 2010 by Lip Service

There’s nothing that can really take away the pain of watch your beloved team getting hammered 4-0 on a rainy day in Stoke, but if there’s one thing that alleviates the suffering slightly, it’s a chant going round the ground that has you spitting out your Bovril and laughing until you can’t see anymore.  So, because we love sharing the humour, here are some of the funniest, weirdest and downright offensive chants we’ve heard from all four corners of the football league…
 
"Park, Park, Where ever you may be, You eat dogs in your home country
But it could be worse, You could be a scouse: Eating rats in your council house" United fans managing to slag off Liverpool to the tune of Lord of the Dance, without ever really complimenting their own player.  Pretty good going, really.

‘Your sister is your mother, Your uncle is your brother ,You all f**k one another, The Norwich family
Der der der der clap clap etc’ – Away fans showing that they don’t care for stereotypes at Carrow Road.

"You're just a fat Eddie Murphy” Away fans to Chelsea man Jimmy Ffloyd Hasselbaink, a chant that even the striker found funny.

“VAN-PER-SIE, When a girl says no mo-lest her.” West Ham fans showing their care and discretion following Van Persie’s charge for sexual assault.  To the tune of Craig David.

“Tim timminy, Tim timminy, Tim Tim Tirooo
We've got Tim Howard and he says F**K YOU!!” –Man Utd fans referencing both Mary Poppins AND Tim Howard’s tourettes syndrome.

“Don't blame it on the Biscan, Don't blame it on the Hamann,
Don't blame it on the Finnan, Blame it on Traore,
He just can't, He just can't, He just can't control his feet. He just
can't, He just can't, He just can't control his feet.” Away fans spreading the Michael Jackson love following Jimmy Traore’s own goal.

"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams.” Scotsmen worldwide showing their sympathy for Andy Goram’s diagnosis for mild schizophrenia.

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